Forever (not quite) Alone (not quite).

So, it makes me kind of jealous that Junie has someone like Jellie to throw a surprise party for him, when the girl I like doesn't even notice me, and doesn't make as much effort as I give her.

It's sad to think about it, and since everyone around me is already starting to form a couple, I'm kind of left behind. What do I do now? I want her to do the same for me, she told me that she likes me (yes, that way). I don't feel it, though. What just happened to us? What happened to that moment last week? It's something worth remembering in my mind, because she was someone I really liked, and I really thought she was different from everyone else, but I guess, I don't know what to believe anymore. In any case, she could be a really great girl, if only she'd changed a little bit. There's just something about her. I know she's not all that to anyone else, but she's more than that to me. I guess I just need a little bit of faith, trust in her. What do I do when I can no more? I have my friends, but I still feel so alone. I just wish something would happen, and I have to do something about it.

Run Away

I know... it’s college. I’m supposed to do all the stupid stuff now. Why do I feel like I’m not? Life’s such a drag these days, and the worst part is, I have no one to talk to about it. Nica’s being non-responsive, and the others, I can’t even seem to tell. I want to get away from life as soon as possible. Maybe it would just be best for me to just disappear already, maybe for good. I don’t know where to go, though. It’s not a good idea, but it’s certainly better than staying here, where I am now. I could really use someone to talk to, but with all the bullshit that’s been happening, I am feeling so alone. I don’t really know what the best decision is right now, so I'll think it through. I'll find my ways.

I really wish I had someone to talk to, but right now, I feel like this is all I've got, some random blog that will help me at least make how I feel into something tangible, at least a collection of words, telling me how I really feel, and a way to go back to it. Right now, I want to hide, and just forget everything, all the bullshit that's been happening in my life. I want to run away, and not be found, maybe ever.

Happy New Year (Oops)

So, my last post was mistaken. I guess she didn't just get my hopes up. She didn't at all. She's still someone pretty special to me. I guess something might happen soon, I'm not sure if I really want it, but I have to make this mistake (if it is) to see where it will go. What can I do, now that the damage has been done?

She used to drive me crazy, then I couldn't stand her. Then, maybe, now she drives me crazy again. Is there really something wrong in this situation? I guess, or I could be wrong. Whatever this may be, I guess I have to deal with it. I have to live up to what has happened. I guess this has to lead somewhere. I'm waiting to see where it does.