This is... What is This?

I created this blog, not necessarily for TNT-related posts only. This blog was meant for anything that I needed to hide from the R4 girls.

I just realized something... not today... sometime ago, but my realization was made deeper today...

For everything with regards to the internals of their group, they can not be trusted with secrets. Secrets spread among them. I used to love all of them with all my heart that I did not want to accept anyone but any of them as "the one" for me. Now that the TNT's have opened my eyes to a whole new family outside R4 and QQ1, I'm no longer bound by the thoughts and beliefs I once had.

I now realize that life is TOO MUCH drama with all the R4 girls. I only used to KNOW J***** C*******. I only used to like her. Life was much, much simpler then. Then I knew N****, C****, G*****, D****** and S****. C found out that I like N, then soon enough, everyone else knew. I should've known then that, that was their biggest flaw.

Now, my drama's getting more intense. N used to be my best friend, and where is she now? Probably off sharing her life with some other new friends. What happened? I know my part. I don't know hers. She doesn't want to talk about it. I wonder why?

I needed someone to talk to about this, I talked to J and C. So, if I talked to them, HOW THE FUCK did D find out? Obviously, logic points us to only one answer: they squealed. I need someone to shout to, so I shout into thin air, into an imaginary body that I can pretend hears me. It helps me relieve any untoward feelings I have against anyone. I was screaming in the car on the ride home.

It's a good thing I have this outlet for myself. I might go crazy not being to secretly share with the world how I really feel. THIS IS... What is this? This is my personal... well... something like a gemstone. It's worth a lot of my life, but I don't think anyone will find it so easily.